Today James is 6 weeks old. I'm sorry there's no 6 week picture, but that requires entirely too much effort.
I thought by now...
...we'd be sleeping, on occasion, longer than 0-2 hours at a time.
(Feedings generally take about an hour. Not because he eats very long at all, but the eating/trying to convince him to eat/burping/diaper changing/calming him down/getting him to sleep takes about an hour. Last night he ate at 8:30pm, 11:30pm, 2:30am, 4:30am, 6:30am, 8am, 9am, 10am...)
...that I'd feel warm, fuzzy, and gushy inside about motherhood.
(Today I had a total meltdown. I felt weepy, tired, angry and frustrated.)
...that I'd feel more competent as a mom.
(Today I felt like an incompetent failure as a mom and wife. I can't make my baby happy, or keep him happy for very long. MOM-FAILURE! My husband has to swoop in and save the day all.the.time. WIFE-FAILURE!)
...nursing would be a breeze.
(He eats for 3-5 minutes at a time most of the time. I cannot seem to convince him to eat longer. He latches fine and is gaining weight, but this is certainly contributing to his short sleeping intervals. Well, that and he spits up as a hobby. Fun times.)
That's all. Sorry for the debbie-downer post. Just keepin' it real, folks.