Breastfeeding: Pumping At Work (part 1)

I want to share some stories with you about adventures in pumping at work as told by some of my friends.  I find it helpful to hear real stories from real people tackling real life obstacles that I'm facing, too.  First up:  Angela!

Angela is on her feet most work days as an elementary school teacher (3rd grade).  She is mom to 16 month old Isabelle. She had this to say about pumping at work:

How long are your work days, on average? 

My average work day is 9 hours--7 hours with kids and two hours of work on lesson plans, paper work, meetings, etc.

How long were you out on maternity leave?  

I was on maternity leave for 8 weeks.

What, if any, apprehensions did you have about continuing breastfeeding and pumping after your maternity leave was up?

My main concern about continuing to use breast milk after returning to work was the time it would take to keep up with the supply Isabelle would need.  She has always been a VERY good eater and was drinking 6-8 ounces at a time from about 3 months old!  I knew from hearing about other mother's experiences that I would have to pump as many times as she ate if I wanted her to only have breast milk.  That would be a minimum of 3 times during my school day.  This seemed daunting because of the lack of flexible time in my schedule.  I knew it was possible because other teachers at my school had done it, but it definitely added a big element of stress to returning to work...something I didn't really want to do to begin with.

Did that original plan change after you went back to work?  

I managed to stick with my original plan/schedule that I anticipated.  I was able to be relatively flexible with times between pumping sessions, which I had to figure out as I went along.  My biggest obstacle was minimizing the impact on my students while I was out of the classroom.  My "personal" schedule and my class schedule were not compatible.  If I had pumped when it was most comfortable for me, I would have had to have a sub for about 20 minutes 3 times a day.  That seems minimal when I think about it now, but it was a big burden on teacher assistants (though they never complained) and reduced my time actually teaching my students.  Finding a balance of doing what is best for Isabelle and what is best for my students...this was the first in a long list of times that I've had to do that.  I managed to rearrange things to only leave my kids once a day.  It made it a little bit harder on me because I pumped during lunch and planning times, but it didn't impact my supply.  Problem solved.

What was your pumping schedule at work? Number of pumping sessions? Duration of each session? 

The schedule I stuck with the longest was as follows: 8:45-9:05 (during my students' arrival time--didn't miss any instruction); 12:30-12:50 (my lunch time--another staff member picked my students up from lunch); 3:45-4:05 (during dismissal--didn't miss any instruction.  My times included prep and clean up.  I actually only pumped for about 10 minutes most times.

Did your daughter have trouble interchanging between bottles and breastfeeding? 

Isabelle had no problem going between nursing and bottles.  She has always been a flexible little thing.

Where did you physically pump at work? 

I pumped in a little random "phone room" about the size of a closet in our teacher's lounge.  It was unofficially designated the pumping room in the school.  (When you work mainly with women of child bearing age, you have one of these.)

How did you handle washing of pump parts for multiple pumping sessions at work?

Luckily, there is a sink outside the room where I pumped.

Where do you store your milk during the work day?  

I stored milk in the refrigerator in the teacher's lounge.  I had to CLEARLY label the bag because there was more than one pumping mom at my school at the time.

Describe what you packed in your pump bag.

I really just had the pump parts and a towel in my bag.  I was pretty fast, so I didn't need a lot of things to keep me busy.  There was a clock in the room with me, which was the only other thing I needed.

Any other working-mom-pumping-related thoughts you'd like to share?

One unexpected change I made in the middle was that I stopped nursing altogether after about 2 months back at work.  Pumping was a lot faster than nursing, because Isabelle nursed slowly.  It took me 45 minutes to nurse her--it only took me 10 minutes to pump as much as she wanted.  I doubt I would have made that leap if I hadn't been pumping because of my return to work.  I enjoyed nursing after the initial adjustment period; however, the schedule and busyness of working made efficiency the priority.

I was very lucky because nursing and pumping for me were relatively painless and hassle free.  My main issues with it involved the amount of work and planning it took to pump enough milk every day: making sure the room was available and unlocked when I needed it, making sure I had coverage for my class when I asked for it, making sure I had all the parts packed, making sure I remembered to get the milk out of the refrigerator EVERY day before I left school, making sure I remembered to pump at the right time (a few minutes off could impact multiple people.)  All of those little details added onto the millions of teacher and early parenting tasks were very taxing for me.  I was very relieved to be finished and glad that I made it the 6 months I wanted to complete.

------------------

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions, Angela!  

Do you want to be a part of this Pumping At Work blog series?  Email me!  baacuff (at) mac (dot) com.

Questions?  Leave it in the comments!

Breastfeeding Issues

**warning:  lots of boobie talk ahead.  If breastfeeding or boobie talk isn't your thing, feel free to read this other (benign) post. **

While pregnant with James, I didn't know what to expect regarding breastfeeding.  I wanted to give it the ole college try, but I wasn't willing to lose my mind over trying to make it work.  I talked a little bit about it here and here.  Basically, I breastfed him until he was six months, and then transitioned to formula.  He was always a quick nurser and rarely fell asleep at the breast (instead would usually pop off wailing).

While pregnant with Reese, I didn't give it much thought before she was born.  Been there, done that.  I figured we would figure it out together and it would be no big deal.  I did not anticipate having trouble.  Unfortunately, we did experience some challenges.

When she was weighed for the first time, minutes after her birth, I knew feeding was going to a big, big focus for us since she was a big, big girl!  Bigger babies can have blood sugar issues when they are born, so feeding them as soon as possible is important.

Sometime in the first hour, she latched on well and ate for 15 minutes or so.  It was a good first feeding, in my book.  Her blood sugars were fine, for which I was grateful.

Over the first few days, she was eating well and latching okay, or so I thought.  I met with a lactation consultant while in the hospital just to make sure all was well.  After we went home, two days later, I noticed my nipples were really, really sore.  Other moms warned me about this when I had James, but I never really experienced it.  But this time...WOW.  I also noticed when Reese was done nursing, my nipple would be creased.  A baby that is latched well shouldn't cause this to happen.  On day four, I went back to the hospital with Reese to have another lactation consultant appointment.  Sheri was great.  She helped me try some new positioning techniques to help Reese get more of my nipple in her mouth, hopefully reducing her pinching the bajeebies out of my nipples!  If you asked Reese during this process (which I didn't, but I feel free to speculate), she wouldn't have said anything was wrong.  When she was hungry, she ate until she was full.  End of story.  She seemed to be getting plenty of volume, based on weight checks at the pediatrician, and was sleeping (some, as any newborn does).  It was just ME having trouble with feeding her that was the issue.

After that appointment on day four, I left feeling encouraged that WE COULD DO THIS.  We had to work on positioning and such, but it could be done.  So for the next ten days or so, I tried and tried to get her positioned well, with her chin ever so slightly overextended.  But despite my best efforts, I couldn't consistently get through a feeding without wincing in pain.

I had an idea to try using a nipple shield.  After talking on the phone to lactation consultant Sheri about my brilliant plan, I headed off to the store to find one.  I was so excited to try it out with our next feeding.  Nipple shields can be used for a lot of different reasons (like a mom has very flat nipples that don't give the baby much to latch on to), but I was hoping to take advantage of the SHIELDING properties.  I needed protection from this wee babe that was killing my boobs!  The first feeding that I tried it with was fan.tas.tic.  I was able to relax while Reese nursed.  I wasn't in pain.  She seemed to not mind the shield and ate happily. I thought <cue angelic chorus>  "Aaaaaah!!!  This is it!  We found our solution!"  I felt hopeful again.

It became apparent fairly quickly, however, that when we used the nipple shield, Reese had to eat for a lot longer time period.  Like an hour.  Because of the layer of plastic between us, my body didn't respond to her the same way.  Maybe my milk didn't let down as much, or it didn't flow as easily.  Hard to say.  All I know is she had to eat for a long time to get the same volume that she was getting pre-nipple shield.  Hmmm...perhaps not the miracle cure I thought it was...  I tried using the shield every other feeding to see if that would help my nipples heal a little bit, while still regularly giving Reese an unencumbered feeding.  This worked okay, but it still practically brought tears to my eyes when she would nurse without the shield.  We needed another solution.

When I took her to her two week check-up at the pediatrician, it got ugly.  The sweet, kind, compassionate pediatrician asked me how I was doing and I started sobbing.  (side note--I'll bet they deal with a lot of weeping moms in the peds office.  If I were the doctor, I would've been thinking "Aw geez...we've got another crier...")  I told her I was really, really, freakin' tired.  Reese was eating all the time because we were using the nipple shield because I couldn't get her to latch well (or tolerate her latched) without it.  She had their lactaction consultant come in right away to work with Reese and I.  After examining Reese, this lactation consultant speculated that maybe Reese was slightly tongue tied.  She said her frenulum looked a little bit tight.  She recommended making an appointment with an ENT, so we did.  She also helped me work on positioning using a brest friend pillow.  Up until this point I'd been using a boppy.  I left that pediatrician appointment feeling hopeful once again that this will work out for us!

I switched completely over to using the brest friend pillow and ditched the boppy (which I used the whole time with James...different strokes for different folks, I guess.)  Within a couple of days, we went to our ENT appointment.  The doctor was very kind and sympathetic to our latching woes.  After checking out Reese's tongue, however, he said she looked just fine.  No frenulum clipping necessary.  This was both good and bad news.  Good news that Reese didn't need a minor procedure performed.  Bad news that we were right back where we started with no new magical solution on the horizon.

I left that appointment feeling discouraged, disheartened and less than hopeful about our nursing future.  I didn't realize how important breastfeeding was to me until I thought about the prospect of not being able to make it work.  Apparently I cared about it more than I thought I did.  I had to give myself my own "Don't lose your mind over breastfeeding" speech that I give to moms in the NICU where I work all the time. The speech goes something like "You are not a bad mom if you don't breastfeed.  Your self-worth is not tied up in whether or not your baby gets formula.  Nutritionally speaking, breast milk is the best thing for your baby.  But what is best for your baby is a healthy/happy mom.  If your sanity comes into question over breastfeeding, then it no longer becomes what is best for your baby."  Etc, etc, etc.

Unable to decide at that moment to throw in the towel completely, I made an interim decision to pump and feed her expressed milk.  So I pumped.  For a week.  Then another week.  Then another week.  For three weeks.  I didn't even try nursing her in that time.  She took bottles like a champ.  Pumping didn't hurt.  It was a pain in the butt with all the pump parts and bottles to wash, but at least I was pain-free.

Side note:  I remember reading a blog post from another mom (Jessica) where she described her breastfeeding challenges with her second child.  Go read her story.  She pumped for a MONTH and then worked back up to breastfeeding her son.  When I read that in 2011, I thought to myself "There is NO WAY I would do that.  Breastfeeding isn't that important to me that I would exclusively pump and bottle feed for a month."

Well...Fast forward to the end of 2012 and that's almost exactly what I did.  After three weeks of pumping/bottle feeding, I started attempting to nurse her again.  She did great.  I didn't hurt afterwards.  The next day I tried a couple of times to nurse her.  Still did great, no pain.  Over the next week or so, I added in more and more nursing.  We eventually got up to 24 straight hours of nursing and no nipple pain.  Cue the Hallelujah Chorus.  She was about 7 weeks old at that point.

What changed?  Who knows.  Time really did help.  Maybe just the size of her mouth growing a little bit in that time frame made her latch differently.  I don't know.  All I know is I was so.incredibly.grateful. that our challenges seemed to be behind us.  She didn't have any trouble transitioning back to nursing from bottles.  This is partially why it makes me IRATE when lactation consultants preach that if a baby gets one single bottle feed, breastfeeding is RUINED.  Bull$h!t.  Even if my friend Jessica (mentioned earlier) and I are the only ones on the planet with success stories of bottle-to-breastfeeding (which I doubt we are), that's still two cases where it worked.  So people need to quit beating moms over the head about giving their babies bottles.  *stepping down from soap box*

Where are we now?  Reese nurses about 4-5 times per day.  In the evening before bed, she gets a 6-8 ounce bottle of pumped milk.  Before I go to bed, I pump and save whatever I get for the next night's feeding.  Most nights she sleeps through the night.  (glory and hallelujah!)  My plan right now is to breastfeed until she gets teeth.  Based on the drool factor lately, that may be any day now!  I'll transition her over to formula after that.

So.....that's our story!  Thanks for your time!

FIRE ANTS!

Today was an adventure.

My mom,

dad,

James,

Reese,

and I (sorry I can't find a recent picture of me that doesn't include a kid)

all headed south to surprise Raegan (my niece)

for her birthday today.  

It was going to be an adventure no matter what.  The plan was ripe with danger from the beginning:  

a) drive a little over an hour with toddler and infant in car seats,

b) spend 1+ hours in a restaurant in birthday jubilee, 

c) put the kiddos back in car seats for the drive home during nap time.

But adventures are fun, right?!  So off we went!  I had every baby/kid supply packed with us that I could think of--diapers, wipes, strollers, toys, blankets, snacks for James, and extra clothes.

The trip down was uneventful.  Both kids were awake and happy for the trip.  Success #1.

The restaurant time/birthday celebration was pretty good overall.  James tolerated it fairly well, despite not being allowed to run all over.  Raegan was so sweet to play with him for a while, which he greatly enjoyed.  Reese was  mostly happy, at least until right before we left.  Success #2.

I changed both kids diapers in the back of my vehicle before we hit the road home.  The Jeep was backed into a parking space with the tail end of the car meeting up with a curbed grassy area.  I stood upon said grassy area to accomplish the diaper change-age.  While I was doing that, the party-goers all met up with me at my car as it was time for us all to go.  My mom was holding Reese, I was holding James, the tail gate of my car was open and everyone was milling about for a few minutes.  All of the sudden it felt like I was being bitten with thousands of tee-tiny pinchers all over my feet.  As it turns out, I WAS.  I knew immediately what it was. 

FIRE ANTS!! Fail #1.

As best I can remember, I gently, lovingly placed James into the back of the car, concerned only for his safety as any good mother would be (read: I tossed him).  He didn't cry, so it must've been a somewhat soft landing...  I started to screech "I'M COVERED IN ANTS!!!" while stomping and dancing about like a pentecostal preacher's wife (minus the clapping part).  I considered for a half-second stripping off my pants to remove the poison-filled-biting-beasts, but I thought better of it.  The parking lot and five lane highway beside us could've gotten quite a show.  (Pretty sure they enjoyed the prancing/stomping/dancing as it was.)  Amidst all my FREAKING OUT, someone saw to it that James didn't fall out of the back of the vehicle.  Someone else checked over Reese's stroller and car seat (which was on the ground, she wasn't in it though) to make sure there were no red offenders present.  James was unscathed.  I don't know if anyone else got bitten.  That's horrible.  I was so wrapped up in my own fiasco, I did not see to the well-being of anyone else around me.  To my family, I apologize.  I hope you are all bite-free. 

This picture doesn't really do my foot justice.  There are red spots, believe me.  

After we got the crying children in their car seats and started our journey home, I said to my parents, "Fire Ants.  Wow, didn't really see that one coming..."

ps...both kids fell asleep within ten minutes of our ride home and slept most of the way.  Success #3.

Our Trip to the Biltmore Estate

This week we took a loverly kid-free vacation to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC.  Let me publicly thank both Scott and I's parents for each care taking a kiddo for us to make this trip possible.  We are so, so, so, so, so very grateful!

Where we stayed:

Night #1:

Night #2:

The Sleep Inn was adequate.  The Biltmore Inn was PHENOMENAL.  Not cheap, but amazing. 

What we did:

Day #1 - Played some mini-golf.

The course had some weird rules.

 I made a new stray cat friend.

...

Some ducks showed us their butts.

Any of you that know Scott could've guessed this putting discrepancy between us two. (Scott: 40, BA: 51)

Went to dinner at Barley's Taproom in downtown Asheville after 7pm.  With small kids, we never ever go out to eat this "late".  It was so liberating to eat out sans kids after their bedtime.

Back in the hotel, we toasted to US with some champagne.  Two sips later, we poured the rest out.  We're not big drinkers.

Since baby Reese is still breastfeeding, I spent a lot of quality time with a pump and the above pictured parts.  Fun times. 

Day #2:  We started our day by touring the house.  It was miserably cold and rainy outside.  It was slightly less cold inside the house.  Apparently 1895 homes (even mansions) were not known for great insulation.  Who knew?  Still, it is such an incredible sight to behold.

I was absolutely ecstatic to take an hour lesson in off-road driving in a Range Rover.  I white-knuckled my way through the muddy trails and bumpy terrain while an instructor talked me through the obstacles.  I was amazed at how scared I was driving on the trails.  I doubt we ever broke 5 mph.  Most of the time the car idles through (no gas or brake) the obstacles.  One might think because of the slow speed, it wouldn't be very thrilling.  NOT THE CASE.  I've never been in a car tilted at such angles before, much less behind the wheel!  It was intense.  Scott (bravely) rode along in the back seat and he lived to tell about it!  

"Check out those muddy tires!  I did that!!"  I was really proud of that.  Side note:  that car cost $113,000.  I'm really glad I didn't know that BEFORE the driving lesson...

We had some time to kill before Scott's adventure.

So of course we put on silly hats and took pictures.

This one is some kind of monkey or something.  Don't I look precious?

 Scott chose Sporting Clays as his outdoor adventure.  The guy on the left was the instructor.  He was hilarious and a really good teacher.

Scott did a great job learning to shoot!

The instructor even let me try a few shots.  It was louder and more violent than I expected.  After three shots, I was all done.  I did "break clay", though, so that was thrilling!

Another side note:  I don't know that these pictures do the terrible weather justice.  In the morning, it was 40 degrees and raining.  By the time these pictures were taken at 4pm, it was 35 degrees and raining/sleeting.  I was frozen to MY SOUL watching Scott shoot.  

After shooting, we ate at Cedric's Tavern.  The Vanderbilt's loved St. Bernard dogs, apparently.  Cedric was one of them.  He got his own restaurant and ale named after him.  Sheesh...just a dumbdawg...

Elevators at the Biltmore Inn bearing the Vanderbilt "V".

A view of the lobby at the Inn.  I seriously love this place.

 Day #3 - Before heading home and returning to reality, we soaked up a few more sights of the Estate.  Scott tested out a few of the wines.  As he is not a drinker (of wine or any other alcohol), he thought what he tasted was horrible.  I would not suggest you assign much value to his recommendations...

Maybe an outdoor adventure for next time:  The Segway Tour.

They have a barn full of old equipment from the early 1900's.  In this picture, Scott was saying hurry and take the picture because the metal seat he was sitting on was COLD.  The weather was much improved (sunshine!) on Day 3, but the temperatures still lingered in the 40's.

We met some goat friends.

And some yummy chicken snacks friends.

All in all, it was a fantastic trip.  Although brief, it was exactly what we needed.  If you are contemplating an Asheville/Biltmore trip, I would highly recommend it.  Leave a comment here if you've ever been there.  Where did you stay?  What did you do while you were there?

Listening and Parenting and One-Upping

I recently came across an excellent perspective on the challenges of parenting small kids on another blog,  www.stevewiens.com.  I don't know the man, but I.LOVE.HIM. for writing it.  My favorite part:  

"We know it’s true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn’t feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn’t for you, and it isn’t for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you."

Another similar post by Glennon Melton made me smile and breathe a little bit easier.  One of my favorite parts of this post about Carpe Diem: 

"Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question."

In both of these articles, what they offered me was validation.  I'm doing okay.  My husband is doing okay.  My kids are doing okay.  We're gonna make it.  Because, if I'm honest, when I tell you a story about my toddler completely winning against me in the battle of wills that took place earlier today, what I'm looking for is support. Validation.  Encouragement.  What I am NOT looking for:

"Wait until he's a teenager!"

"Just wait until Reese is older and they can really fight like siblings!"

"This is the easy part...later is SO MUCH HARDER..."

Thanks.  Thanks for that.  Thanks for nullifying whatever it was I was saying.  Thanks for one-upping me with your story about your teenager/middle schooler/grown child.  

The fact of the matter is that I don't think we (as people) are very good listeners.  It's hard to hear a story and not share whatever story comes to mind after hearing someone else's tale.  But I'm determined to get better at it.  

When a first-time pregnant mom tells me she's having trouble sleeping, I want my knee-jerk response to be, "You are so right!  Sleep and pregnancy seem to be mortal enemies!"  Instead of "Wait til the baby comes!  You'll experience a whole new level of sleep deprivation!"

When a childless, younger person complains that the dog kept them up all night, I'd like to offer my sympathies instead of saying I remember fondly the days when my cats were my only sleep interruption.  (I may or may not take that opportunity to tell them that dogs are worthless creatures anyway.  Oh wait, I think that defeats my point of being a better listener and validating people...  Well there goes all my dog-loving readers...)

Your hard is hard to you, whatever that is.  My hard is hard to me, whatever it is.  I'm tired of being one-upped, and therefore I want to make sure I'm not doing that to other people, especially other moms.     

Dear Adoptive Parents

I can't even imagine what your journey to adoption has been like.  Tumultuous?  Long?  Involving more paperwork and red tape than Congress?  Full of heartache and failed pregnancies?  Or maybe easy-breezy, short, and completely unexpected?

This is one of many of life's unfairness-es.  That's a word, right?  It's not fair at all that I wasn't even trying to get pregnant, or thinking about it, and managed to become so.  Meanwhile you guys tried and tried, maybe even were successful a few times at getting pregnant, but then it didn't last.  That's not fair.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry if your path leading you here was a prickly, thorny, jagged rock path and there were no shoes to be found.

As our paths join from this point forward, there are a few things I want you to know.

• I want more than anything to see my child again.  From the moment I leave the hospital, an absolute emotional wreck, all I  will think about is "When can I see her again??!"  But I understand that you need time as a family to bond.  My guess is what you need me to know is that you need space.  Ultimately, I want what is best for her.  So if space is what you guys need, space is what you'll get.  But know that whenever you are ready, I'd love to see her again.  
• Relationships are fluid, dynamic things.  Whatever our relationship starts out like, good or bad, it doesn't have to or get to stay that way forever.  By investing time and attention and effort, we can build a positive, healthy connection.  Hopefully we can be really honest with each other throughout the process about what works for us, what doesn't, and what we want/need.
• Just like no two kids are exactly alike, no two adoptions are either.  While we can both gather support from others who have walked this path, our adoption is unique.  We will have to figure out what works best for us.  
• There will be times, like when we first meet, that will just be awkward, no matter what.  You may feel like you need to come across as well spoken, put together, and definitely not crazy because if you don't, I'll change my mind and not place my child with you.  I'll feel like I need to come across as well spoken, put together, and definitely not crazy because if I don't, you won't let me have a relationship with my child later on.  All of that is baloney.  Facades don't work long term.  You be you.  I'll be me.  We'll build on that.
• Most importantly:  I can be one of your biggest cheerleaders, if you'll let me.  You are raising my biological child.  I have a whole lot of interest vested in things going well for you and your family.  I want you to know I'm on your side, not against you.  If you ever doubt that, keep in mind that I chose you.  I chose you to be my daughter's parents.  I saw qualities in you, in your relationship to each other, that made me pick you above anybody else.  Please, please don't forget that!

Signed,
A loving birthmother

This Moment...

A)  Right this moment, there are two sleeping children in my house.  There are also two sleeping cats, but that's not nearly as noteworthy.

B)  For the second night in a row, I've had the immense pleasure of sleeping through the night.  A gift I believe to be straight from heaven above, delivered to me through baby Reese.

Because of (B), I am able to take this moment to write during (A).  Usually, my two kids don't sleep at the same time.  If they do, I'm so tired, I try to sleep briefly while they do.  So today I'm feeling particularly grateful for James and Reese napping at the same time and that I feel somewhat alert and awake.

I have so many things on my mind that I want to write about!

The transition from 1 kid to 2 kids.
Life with a newborn.
Life with a toddler.
My working life since I've returned from maternity leave.
Marriage in it's 4th year.
Apartment living with a family.
A million things related to adoption.

There are lots more thoughts that I just can pin down right now.

Maybe I'll make this a blurb-blog-post!  Just write a blurb about each topic!  Today I'll be a blurbologist.

1 kid --> 2 kids

I anticipated that doubling the number of children in our home would be challenging.  I didn't have (many) disillusions about that.  I figured that it would be hard no matter how old the first child is.  That being how I thought, we didn't wait long at all between kids.  James was 8 months old when I got pregnant with Reese.  He was exactly 17 months old when she was born.  Hindsight being what it is and all...now that Reese is here, I'm realizing that it may, in fact, have been a little bit helpful if James was older.  Who knew.  He is getting so much more independent now.  He's communicating a little better, asking for things, telling you what he wants/needs in a slightly more understandable fashion.  This is INCREDIBLY helpful!  We are well on our way to only having to fake-it-til-we-make-it-guess-what-the-child-needs with one kiddo instead of two.  So there ya have it.  Live and learn. :)

Newborns

I have really been able to enjoy Reese as a newborn.  Not that I didn't enjoy James as an itty bitty baby, but I've enjoyed her MORE.  It's all about perspective.  When James was born, I thought newborns were hard!  But thanks to James, I've learned that newborns are actually quite simple.  Labor intensive, but simple.  TODDLERS are the challenging ones!  I know all of you with teenagers are saying "Just you wait..."  Since I'm not to the teenager point yet, I don't have that perspective.  All I know is that my toddler is more challenging day to day than my newborn is.  I have appreciated my time with Reese since I know a little bit better now how truly quickly this phase goes by.

Toddlers

James is 20 months old now.  He is hilarious, busy, climb-y, attentive to details, curious, playful, smile-y, impatient, chatty but frequently not understandable, and will occasionally drive one to want to drink. I'm starting to see now what people may love about this stage.  The curiosity he shows about anything and everything and how quickly he learns things is amazing.  I love watching his little brain work out a problem.  In part because of how his cheeks practically rest on his chest when he's sitting down, looking down, working on something.  He has also gotten a little more cuddly than he used to be.  He will sit in my lap and let me read to him.  When he gets really tired, he definitely is more amenable cuddling, especially if he can hold on to one of his lovey blankets and suck his thumb.  I still don't love the throw down, thrash about tantrums that seem to accompany toddlerhood, but who does.  At least there are some redeeming moments in between to keep me from wanting to lock him in his room and throw away the key.

Work

I returned to work on January 27th.  I was out on maternity leave for 12 weeks plus a couple of days.  I was ready to go back!  I was looking forward to adult conversation, earning some money, and using a different part of my brain as a nurse than I do at home.  I reduced my hours at work to part time.  For those not involved in the hospital nurse world, full time work is usually three 12 hour shifts per week.  Therefore, in two weeks, I was working 6 days.  Now in a two week time frame, I work 3 days.  This is very manageable.  I still get a TON of time with my kiddos.  I don't have to stress about pumping at work as much as I did last time.  I do have to pump at work.  I couldn't make it 13+ hours without pumping.  However, even if I don't pump the same number of times that Reese eats and my supply starts to go down after one day at work, she can nurse it back up the next day.  My parents keep my kids when I work during the week.  Scott keeps them on weekends.  I'm super comfortable with both arrangements, so neither one causes me stress while I'm at work.  All in all, so far so good regarding being a working mom of two.

Marriage

Oh Scott.  We had no idea 4.5 years ago that our lives would be like this now.  "This" can be many things:  awesome, horrible, and everything in between.  When Reese and James are having bad days and Scott and I are exhausted, we tend to think "What the heck have we done?!"  But on the good days, when we're enjoying our family-ness, contentment abounds.  We do have to laugh when we think about what it was like when we dated and were soooo in love and all that mushy stuff.  We're still very much in love, but it sure looks more practical and less mushy now.  He appreciates it when I cook dinner.  I appreciate it when he runs errands and takes James with him.  It's just different than it used to be... :)

Apartment Life

We would love to be in a house and not an apartment.  Dave Ramsey recommends saving 20% for a down payment and getting a 15 year fixed mortgage.  This is what we plan to do, it just takes time.  In the mean time, we're living in an apartment.  I curse our upstairs neighbors when they are clomping around (in lead shoes, I'm sure) and wake up one of my kids.  I cringe and wait for a knock on the door from our downstairs neighbors when James is running around like a mad man squealing at the top of his lungs.  C'est la vie in an apartment.  Fortunately, we moved into a 2nd floor apartment (down from the 3rd floor!) in December that has an attached garage.  That is amazingly helpful when transporting car seat age children.  I can get one kid squared away in the car and come back upstairs to retrieve the other kid.  Before, when we were on the 3rd floor without a garage, I just wasn't comfortable leaving one kid in the car in the parking lot while I traipsed back upstairs to get the other kid.

Adoption

Adoption consumes a fair portion of my thought life.  I think about Chloe all the time and what I hope our relationship can be like.  I think about Scott and I adopting in the future and what that may be like.  Sticking with the blurb-ness of this post, I'll keep this short.  Several weeks ago, Melissa asked if we could set up a time for Chloe to call me.  Melissa said Chloe had been talking about me a lot recently.  She (Melissa) felt like she (Chloe) needed to talk to me.  I thought it was a great idea.  She (Chloe) called me at the agreed upon time.  We talked for 20 minutes or so.  At first it was a little awkward and slow going.  Have you ever talked to an 8 year old on the phone?  You have to ask a LOT of questions to get them to talk!  Then it was less awkward and conversation flowed more readily.  When we hung up, I thought, "And so it begins..."  A new phase of our relationship.  Up until now, I've primarily cultivated a relationship with Melissa, because I felt that was the best thing to do.  But now, it seems we're transitioning to a time where Chloe and I will start to define our relationship.  It's exciting and scary all at the same time.  I wonder if Chloe thinks the same thing I do:  "I hope she likes me!!"

As far as Scott and I adopting, we haven't even begun to begin the process, if that makes any sense.  I think saving for a house is a prerequisite for us pursuing adoption.  We want to be in a home before we bring another child into our family.  We shall see...

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Wow....I typed this whole post and both kids are still sleeping.  UH-MAZING.

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Thanks for joining me here and sharing in my world.  Please feel free to leave a comment and include your blog address, if you have one.  I love blog reading!!