Beach: With a Toddler and a Baby

Ten things I think you should know before taking a week long beach trip with a toddler and a baby, in random order:

1)  Your children will acquire new, life changing skills while you are on vacation.

• Night #1 James learned to crawl out of his pack-n-play crib.  This made our lives EXCITING while we were on vacation.  The first night I ended up laying down on the bed next to his crib until he fell asleep.  The rest of the nights we kept him up 1-1.5 hours later than normal so he would be so.very.ready to go to bed when we finally put him there, he would stay.  He did fine at nap time, probably because he was exhausted then, too. (probably from going to bed so late!)

• Reese learned to sit up independently.  This was actually awesome and helpful.  We put a pillow behind her and put some toys around her and VOILA! Happy baby.

2)  If you think you can take a walk on the beach with your toddler WITHOUT said toddler getting in the water, you are sadly mistaken.

• Sometimes around 5pm, after baths and before dinner, it was a great time to take a walk on the beach.  We only tried taking a walk with James (in clothes, no bathing suit) once on the beach.  After he got totally in the water, we decided that was a bad idea.

3)  Your children will go to bed later and get up earlier on vacation than they do in normal non-vacation life.

• Pre-vacation:  Both kids in bed at 7pm, awake around 7am.  On vacation:  Reese in bed at 7:30pm, James at 8:30 or 9pm, both up around 6am. 

4)  If you share a room with your kids, it is harder to ignore them in the morning when they wake up.

• James was to the right of our bed in a pack-n-play, Reese was to our left.  When Reese would wake up talking at 6am, James was quick to follow suit.  He could reach my side of the bed from his.  This made waking up SO enjoyable.

5)  Nine month old babies LOVE to eat sand.

• Reese ate soooooo much sand.  Fistfuls of it.  Look closely at this picture.  She has a sand moustache AND goatee.  Yuck, yuck, yuck.  In case you were wondering, it looks exactly the same when it comes out the other end, except it smells like poop.

6)  Related to number five, baby wipes do not do a satisfactory job getting sand off a baby bottom.  That's all I'm going to say about that.

7)  There is no method to the madness of predicting how your kids will handle being at the beach on any given day.  

• Loved the beach today?  Might hate it tomorrow, or vicey versey.  The first day I didn't know if Reese would like being on the beach or not.  I was prepared to stay a short amount of time and then head back to the house.  Day 1:  She LOVED it.  Played for a solid hour and a half in a sandy hole we dug out for her to sit and splash in.  Day 2:  I was prepared to stay a while, based on day 1.  Twenty minutes in she was over it and wailing.  Of course.  Whatever I was prepared for, she did the opposite!  James was only slightly more predictable.  He was unsure of the water the first day, but warmed up to it quickly and wanted to spend the rest of the WEEK in the water.

8)  Taking a small plastic pool to the beach was a fantastic idea.

• James played in it a little bit, but Reese played in it a LOT.  She loved it.  We didn't have to worry about little waves overtaking her.  The water is able to warm up a little bit more than the ocean water temperature.  One day we didn't even put any water in it, just kept it in the shade with some towels positioned in it and she played in that!  She also took a nap in the water-free-pool.

9)  Having at least 2:1 adult to kid ratio will greatly improve your quality of life.  (actually, this is true any time, not just at the beach or on vacation)

•   On our trip was my mom, dad, my sister, and one of my brothers in addition to my family of four.  It was really helpful to have extra adults around to help kid-wrangle.  My mom was kind enough to leave the beach at mid-day, take a kiddo back to the house, feed, bathe and put them down for a nap.  Scott also spent a good bit of time at the house while children were napping.  I got to spend a lot of time on the beach.  My family helped make that possible.  I am so, so appreciative of them!

10)  Related to number nine, family makes all the difference in the world.  For me, that difference is a positive one.  I know that isn't the case for everyone.  I am so very grateful.

 

What did I leave out?  What did you learn on vacation with kids (of any age)?

"I'm Sad" Update

The short version:  I heart Zoloft.  I feel much, much better.

The long-winded version:

I started taking sertraline (generic Zoloft) at the end of June.  I started with 25 mg for a few days, then 50 mg for a few days, then 75 mg (my recommended dose).  The first few days I felt nauseous.  Not to the extreme I feel when I'm pregnant, just enough to really kill my appetite.  I did take a pregnancy test sometime in the first few days because of the nausea.  It was negative.  When I moved up to 50 mg, I started feeling better emotionally.  Less sad and mopey, slightly more energy each day.  Within two weeks of starting the medication, I felt significantly better.

That's how I would describe myself now: significantly better than pre-medication.  I have energy to do things every day.  I have motivation.  I have my spunk, spark, and sarcasm back. :)  I'm so, so glad to feel like "me" again.  I'm keeping up with my house a wee bit better than I was.  I'm able to meet up with people and go and do.  You know, LIVING??  And blogging.  Lots more blogging.

I can't deny another huge factor in me feeling better:  my husband, Scott.  He's a teacher and has been out of school/off work this summer.  Having him around morning, noon, and night to help out with kid wrangling has GREATLY improved my attitude as well.  THANK YOU, MY LOVE.  THANK YOU.

He's back in school now, but I don't feel anxious or apprehensive about handling me and the kids.  In fact, I took both of them to the grocery store by myself yesterday.  I don't know if I've ever done that before.  Ever.  I wore Reese in my Ergo carrier and James rode in the cart and we all did just fine.

Let's talk about medication side effects for just a minute.  I don't know for sure if any of these things are sertraline-related, but that's what I'm blaming:

• Difficulty sleeping.  I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.  I toss and turn a whole lot.  Even when I'm exhausted, I just laaaaaaayyyy there for a long, long time before I drift off to sleep.  
• Not-to-be-named-here sexual side effect.  Feel free to email me.  (baacuff at mac dot com) I'm happy to tell you my tale.  I just think for the sake of my children and husband, I'll not publicize it on this blog. :)
• Still slightly decreased appetite.  No complaints there.  I've lost a few pounds.  I eat slightly less than I used to.  I consider this to be a huge positive. :)

The plan:  Because of the first two side effects, I decided to drop back to a 50 mg dose.  I've noticed a tee-tiny-slight-improvement since cutting back on the dose.  And, thankfully, still feeling good emotionally.  I talked to my doctor about coming off completely in November.  Reese will be a year then.  Since we're attributing some of this depression to post-partum hormones, hopefully one year post-partum will show significant improvement.  Also, we think my birth control pill (generic Yaz, gianvi) played a role, too. I just switched this month to a different pill (generic Loestrin Fe, gildess).  So sometime in October I will drop down to 25 mg sertraline dose and hopefully come off completely in November.  My doctor says I'll know pretty quickly if I can come off or not.  I guess we'll just have to see!

In the mean time, I'm going to carry on living life.  Not just existing like I was before.

**If you haven't seen the movie Willow (above), I'd highly recommend it.  Lots and lots of quotable quotes in that movie. 

Birthmother Connection

This week I was fortunate to have an opportunity to meet another birthmother.  We met up at a coffee shop and chatted for a bit.

Have you ever walked away from meeting someone new feeling just plain excited that you got to meet them?  That's how it was in this situation.  She's fresher into the birthmom journey than I am.  Even still, it was so absolutely awesome to hear someone talk about their journey and just GET where they are coming from.

Adoption journeys, from all sides of the triad (adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees), are so wildly different.  I enjoyed hearing her story and telling mine.  I hope we can meet up again and continue our birthmother journey together, connected.