A Lesson in Bath-ing Diapered Children

A few helpful lessons I learned (again) during bath time tonight:

1. Do NOT remove the child's diaper prior to a bath unless you are ready to place said child IN the bath that very second. 
2. If you remove the diaper, turn to adjust/test the water, and turn back to the child, there will be pee on the floor and bath mat. 
3. The amount of pee will be a disproportionally large amount when compared to the child's size.  
4. Due to the large volume of liquid, one may briefly confuse the liquid for bath water, despite no reasonable explanation for how that fluid got OUTSIDE the tub.  
5. You will get the pleasure of locating clorox wipes in your friend's house (thankfully under the same bathroom sink) and washing a load of towels and bath mats. 
6. The "fun time" of bath time rises proprotionally to the amount of liquid on the floor.*

That is all.




*note sarcasm

Mother's Day Ramblings

Ah, Mother's Day.  I've read a lot of blog posts recently about Mother's Day and how awesome/fantastic/horrific/awkward it can be, depending on your perspective. 

After I delivered my first child (Chloe) and placed her for adoption, Mother's Day was dubbed by me as "Awkward Day".  I didn't want Mother's Day cards or to be recognized for all my "mom-ness", whatever that meant, I just wanted those close to me to to acknowledge that it was a weird day for me.  I didn't feel like a mom, but I had given birth to a child, so in that sense I very much was one. 

I was and am a birthmother. 

I really, really identify with the term "birthmother".  To me that explains exactly what I am to Chloe.  I birthed her and made one significant parenting decision for her:  who her parents would be.  It is there my parenting decisions for her ended.  She would not be calling out for me in the middle of the night, she would call for her mom, Melissa.  Although, like Melissa, I would never want her to be sick.  She wouldn't run to me with a skinned knee, her mom would be there.  Although, like Melissa, her pain causes me pain too.  I know some birthmothers feel like that term is too cold, distant, or not accurate as a description for their relationship with the child they placed for adoption.  For me, that term feels like a good fit.  It's hard to describe.  Relinquishing my rights to parent her remains the most gut-wrenching decision I have ever made.  But I feel in the depths of my soul that it was the right decision.  I was meant to carry her, deliver her, and step aside and let her parents, Alvin and Melissa, take over.  I understand that in adoption, like in so many other areas of life, what works for some doesn't work for all.  But please know that referring to me as Chloe's birthmother does not offend me at all.  It is a privilege and an honor to be called such, in my opinion. 

I was solely a birthmother for seven years before my next child was born.  James-the-blue-eyed-wonder.  After he entered the scene, I felt a little more "normal" about Mother's Day.  It was easier for the world around me to recognize me as a mom.  I smelled (like spit up) like a mom.  I looked (like I hadn't slept in years) like a mom.  I "felt" like a mom. Seventeen months later, I became a mother of three when Reese joined the scene.  The mothering fun continues!

My point in telling you all of this is to share my perspective on Mother's Day.  This can be an awkward day for so many, for a variety of reasons:

• Mom passed away
• Lost a child
• Placed a child for adoption
• In a mom-role for a child that isn't biologically or legally theirs
• Never able to get pregnant
• No desire to be a mom (there's nothing wrong with this!!)

By no means an exhaustive list, but the sentiment is there. 

On this Mother's Day, how about just giving any female you know a hug and thank them for being them, regardless of their mom-status.  If they look at you funny for doing so, tell them a birthmother told you to do it honor of "Awkward Day." 

Time Is Flying

People, it is April already.  APRIL.  Can you believe that??  I mean, I just moved here to South Carolina in November, which was yesterday to me.  And now it's April.  Holy cow.

SLOW YOUR ROLL, 2014.

Lemme update you on a few things.

Work

I have about 2+ more weeks on orientation, then I'm ON MY OWN. (singing in best operatic musical voice...Phantom of the Opera maybe??  You know the song I'm talking about...)  Sunday and Monday I worked my first two night shifts.  It's Wednesday and I'm still groggy, but overall it went well.  I think the first time I worked nights (and hated it) was in 2008.  No kids.  Newly married.  In general, I slept a whole lot more than I do now.  When I worked nights, I missed my sleep forreal.  Don't get me wrong, I will still miss my sleep.  A lawt.  But there's just less of it these days to miss.  Hopefully that will make it a little more tolerable.

I really like the pace of night shift.  It's just more relaxed.  That works for me.

I'm slowly but surely getting the hang of this new hospital.  Gaining tee-tiny bits of confidence as I get my feet under me a little better each shift I work.  Tons more to learn, but I'm getting there.  I've gotten to see colostomy closure surgery, an upper GI study, an exchange transfusion, administered blood, and helped perform post-mortem care (yes, that is always sad).  I'm learning and learning and learning!

Family

James and Reese are all busy all the time.  James is enjoying playing in the cul-de-sac with two other little boys around his age. Reese tries to keep up and mostly narrowly misses getting run over by them on a regular basis.

Because one pair won't do.

Sometimes you just have to lean against the wall and suck your thumb.

James would always prefer to spend his time driving something.

Scott is still loving his job.  He recently passed the next actuary test (his third test in this series, all of which he's passed on the first attempt).  YOU GO HONEY!!  You is kiiiiiiind, you is SMAAAAAAHT, You is important!  He joined a golf league through work and is getting to play once a week.  We bought a lawnmower last weekend.  He mowed the grass of our very own home for the first time last Saturday.  Both the buying of the mower and the utilization of the mower felt like new home owner milestones to me.  Yay for us!

In March we had company for three consecutive weekends.  To me, that is ideal.  People people people and more people.  I love it.  Scott may or may not have been totally worn out by all the people-ing.   First Aunt Nikki came to see us from Boone.  Sister time is VERY IMPORTANT. :)  We had a brief, good visit which apparently I did not photographically document in any way.  Awesome.

Next into town was Scott's parents.  It is always so great to see them and watch them interact with James and Reese.  Grandkids and grandparents have such special relationships.  I am so, so, so grateful for how awesome my kids' grandparents are!  I don't believe I took any pictures of the Davidsons while they were here. I'm so fired.

Brandi was the final round of weekend company.  I met her my freshman year at NC State.  We were roommates for a couple of years in college.  She is one of my longest-standing friendships and I love being around her.  She's one of the few people on the planet that can handle ALL THE WORDS that I can produce.  I have a never-ending supply of words, in case you didn't know.  Brandi knows.  And she's still alive.  God bless her.  And look, we took some pictures while she was here!

Reese really loved to smell Brandi's coffee.

Friends for a really long time. :)

Birthday dinner for Scott!

That's enough of an update for now!