Attending a Friend's Delivery

The following is what you should know if you are invited to be present for a friend's delivery, according to Brooke.  This perspective is particularly important if you have never birthed a baby yourself.

1) There will be things you see.  You cannot unseen these things.

2) There will be things that you smell. You will not forget these smells.

3) Wear close-toed shoes in the delivery room. Trust me. Things splash.

4)  Sometimes you look away and look back and there's a placenta in a trash bag on the floor. Pro tip: focus on the momma.

5)  When people need things, get those things.  Examples: food for the husband/support team, a break from the room, pressing the silence button on the baby warmer alarm.

6)  The lady bits that you see are unlike real-life human lady bits.  Don't be alarmed by your friend's bits.  You can still be friends after you see your friend's bits. Mainly because you haven't really seen your friend's bits.

7) Sometimes laboring friends have to go to the bathroom, especially after they've been put on fluids.  Offer to help (push an IV pole) or stay out of the way.

8) Prepare yourself for the emotional gut-punch of going from normal, friendly banter to the excitement of the first push to the frustration that the d@&! baby won't come out to writhing agony and gnashing of teeth to sobbing joy when that little human finally arrives.  The emotional hang-over is unparalleled.

9) If, before this day, you wanted to have children, that will remain unchanged.  If, before this day, you were confident that you did NOT want to have children, that too will remain unchanged.

10)  After that baby pops out (HA. As if it's like uncorking champagne) maintain eye contact with someone. Anyone.  Just maintain eye contact.  Because there are too many things that you can't unsee.  Stitches.  Bodily fluids evacuating the uterus.  Again with the placenta. #PTSDisreal

11) After her water is broken, any jokes that result in laughter will also result in fluid leakage.  This will feel disgusting to the mother, which fuels the friend/comedian's desire to make her laugh.

12) There are a LOT of fluids involved.  Fluids in bags being infused through IVs. Fluids in bodies being expelled by lady bits. And fluids in babies that get expelled onto nurses and doctors immediately following delivery.

Things that parents need immediately following delivery:

1) Food. At least one meal has been skipped.  People need food.
2) Not to answer 74 questions.  Just because the pushing is over, doesn't mean everything is gravy.
3) Some quiet time. Alone. By themselves with the new baby. Medical staff exempted.
4) Whatever they ask for.  Take pictures. Tap dance. Whatever the parents need in that moment.

*thus sayeth Brooke*

Have you attended a friend's delivery?  What would you add to this list??