Monday, August 15, 2011

Back To Work

Tomorrow is the day.  THE day.  The go-back-to-work day.  To be honest, I am not excited.

Used to, I thought women who came back to work after maternity leave and cried were sissies.  Overly emotional sissies.  If you were one of those women, I'm sorry.  I misjudged you.

I get it now.

  • I get it that you've been attached to this baby for 9 (really 10) months of pregnancy and 9 weeks after.  You've never spent more than a few hours away.  A work day suddenly feels like a lifetime of separation.
  • I get that you feel like nobody can take better care of your baby than you.  
  • I get that you even doubt your very-capable husband's ability to care for your child.  Much less a grandmother or a daycare worker.  
  • I get that you're afraid of missing something fantastic that your baby does for the first time.  Or the hundredth.  
  • I get that you feel like you're just starting to understand this role of "Mom", and going back to work to put on the "employee" hat might threaten your "Mom" role.  Like it's impossible to do both well. 
  • I get that somewhere deep inside you feel a little guilty for not wanting to be a full time stay at home mom.  Because, to be sure, that makes you a bad mother.
  • For other birthmothers, I get that going back to work and "leaving" your baby feels like a distant cousin-feeling to leaving your child that you placed for adoption.  And that stings.  Your heart wants to run into a closet and hide in the dark to avoid the pain.
So tomorrow when I rejoin the work force, if I shed a few tears, I'll be sure and give myself a little grace in the process.  I'm no sissy...

1 comment:

Brandi said...

So, how did it go?? And how good did it feel to see him and Scott when you got back from work? :-)