3 Months!

-Time has FLOWN by.  Everyone said it would.  They didn't lie.  3 months old already.  Wow.

  

Self portraits always turn out so well...

-James is cuter than ever.  Still holding on to those blue eyes!

-He is sleeping through the night most nights*.  If he doesn't sleep straight through, he wakes up once and cries and then goes back to sleep without any assistance.  Words cannot express how ecstatic I am about this. (*n=10 days, perhaps not statistically significant, but it matters to ME)
-He's experimenting a lot with sounds.  At various times he sounds like an owl "hooo...hooo...hooo" or sometimes a pterodactyl (think high pitched squeals).  Just for fun, I think you should pronounce "pterodactyl" like this: puh-terr-oh-DACK-tull.  Go ahead.  Say it out loud.  Right now.  Good job!! *patpat
-James really enjoys being on his play mat and batting at the dangling toys above him.  He spends a lot of time there because it makes him so happy!  I'm sure this is contributing to the flatness of his head, but whatever. A happy, flat-headed baby...that's what we'll have.

-For now, James is still breastfeeding or bottle feeding my milk when I'm at work.  I wondered how he would do when I went back to work, but so far, so good.  He doesn't seem to mind going back and forth between bottles and nursing.  We're taking this week by week as far as how long I'll continue nursing him...

-I am in the middle of switching out his clothes from the 0-3 months size to 3-6 months.  Most of the 0-3 months stuff is too short.  The onesies still fit width-wise, but he's too long for them.

-Daycare:  Having my mom watching him when I'm at work is going well.  At least I think so.  Maybe we should ask her??  We are very fortunate that she's willing to do this for us! 

-Weight loss:  I've lost most of my "baby" weight.  However, the "Betty Anne" weight that is left is...different.  Squishier.  Saggier.  That's fun.  

-My hair is falling out!  A lot.  I know it's normal.  It happened last time, too.  And this article says its fine.  We all know the internet NEVER lies.  But still...it's kinda weird and a lot annoying to always have several hairs on my shirt, on James, on my pillow, etc.  James has been experiencing some hair loss as well.  But we've already talked about that.
-Scott and I are adjusting to the working life.  We're still tweaking my hours at work to figure out what works best for us.  I haven't officially cut back hours, but I have been volunteering to stay home pretty frequently, on days when we're overstaffed (called "flexing" at my job).
-Now that we've added work back into the mix and almost have a routine down for that, we're going to add another huge time commitment:  FOOTBALL.  Yes, folks, 'tis that time of year again.  The time of year when Saturdays (college games), Sundays and Mondays (NFL games) and some Thursdays and Fridays (misc. games) are consumed by the viewing of enormous amounts of football.  Go Gamecocks!  Go Wolfpack! Go Dolphins!  Go every-person-on-Scott's-two-fantasy-football-teams!

Looking Back...

Excerpt from my journal three weeks after Chloe was born:

"Another challenging day...  I saw Chloe for the first time since the hospital.  I knew from talking to Melissa last night that they were bringing Chloe [to church] today.  I didn't know how it would work out or how I would respond.  As it turns out, it was extremely painful to see her.  I was thinking I would see her after church, not so much during church.  There was an altar call for those wanting prayer at the end of the service.  Before I knew it, Melissa and Alvin were down front to be prayed for and Alvin was holding precious baby Chloe.  I saw them walk up and then I saw this teeny little head full of hair cradled in Alvin's arms.  My first thought was "That's my baby girl!"  I just started sobbing, as did mom who was sitting beside me.  It was SO SO great to see her and SO SO hard at the same time.  Very much a double-edged sword.  Physically, something in my core ached when I saw her.  My hands got all shaky.  I felt for a minute that I was going to pass out.  I did end up sitting down just in case.  It was not as painful as, but reminiscent of, leaving the hospital.  I feel that adoption was the right decision and I have peace about that, but it still HURTS.  Does it make me a sadomasochist that I want to see her again?!

After church I figured I would gather up all the composure I could muster and go say hello to them and hopefully get to hold her.  But I didn't exactly rush around looking for them after church and I think they headed out fairly quickly.  It's totally fine that I didn't see them again or hold her.  Probably for the best.  I don't know how to explain the dichotomy I'm experiencing.  I busted out sobbing when I saw just her cute little head resting quietly in Alvin's arms, but I want to see her again as soon as I can.  I want to hold her so badly.  I want to tell her I love her and miss her terribly.  But, not yet...

...This is such a difficult situation.  I know one day it won't hurt so bad.  But for now, only by God's grace, I must walk through this.  Lord, thank you for your grace and mercy.  Thank you that you truly don't give me more than I can handle IN YOU.  Thank you that through the pain, I have HOPE.  You have a plan for me and a plan for Chloe.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of bringing Chloe into this world.  I count it a privilege and an honor..."

Baby Baldness

There are a few of you that noticed James' lack of hair on his head.  The bath picture in particular makes him look totally bald!  I thought I'd post some more pictures that prove he has at least a few hairs, although not arranged in any sort of sensical manner. :)

Look carefully...there's some peach fuzz!  Don't get distracted by the BLUE EYES.

He's got a nice bald spot in the middle of the back of his head...

...right above what appears to be a mullet-in-progress. :)

Don't forget about the long wispy hairs on the top!

And full body cuteness, just for fun.