"I'm Sad" Update

The short version:  I heart Zoloft.  I feel much, much better.

The long-winded version:

I started taking sertraline (generic Zoloft) at the end of June.  I started with 25 mg for a few days, then 50 mg for a few days, then 75 mg (my recommended dose).  The first few days I felt nauseous.  Not to the extreme I feel when I'm pregnant, just enough to really kill my appetite.  I did take a pregnancy test sometime in the first few days because of the nausea.  It was negative.  When I moved up to 50 mg, I started feeling better emotionally.  Less sad and mopey, slightly more energy each day.  Within two weeks of starting the medication, I felt significantly better.

That's how I would describe myself now: significantly better than pre-medication.  I have energy to do things every day.  I have motivation.  I have my spunk, spark, and sarcasm back. :)  I'm so, so glad to feel like "me" again.  I'm keeping up with my house a wee bit better than I was.  I'm able to meet up with people and go and do.  You know, LIVING??  And blogging.  Lots more blogging.

I can't deny another huge factor in me feeling better:  my husband, Scott.  He's a teacher and has been out of school/off work this summer.  Having him around morning, noon, and night to help out with kid wrangling has GREATLY improved my attitude as well.  THANK YOU, MY LOVE.  THANK YOU.

He's back in school now, but I don't feel anxious or apprehensive about handling me and the kids.  In fact, I took both of them to the grocery store by myself yesterday.  I don't know if I've ever done that before.  Ever.  I wore Reese in my Ergo carrier and James rode in the cart and we all did just fine.

Let's talk about medication side effects for just a minute.  I don't know for sure if any of these things are sertraline-related, but that's what I'm blaming:

• Difficulty sleeping.  I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.  I toss and turn a whole lot.  Even when I'm exhausted, I just laaaaaaayyyy there for a long, long time before I drift off to sleep.  
• Not-to-be-named-here sexual side effect.  Feel free to email me.  (baacuff at mac dot com) I'm happy to tell you my tale.  I just think for the sake of my children and husband, I'll not publicize it on this blog. :)
• Still slightly decreased appetite.  No complaints there.  I've lost a few pounds.  I eat slightly less than I used to.  I consider this to be a huge positive. :)

The plan:  Because of the first two side effects, I decided to drop back to a 50 mg dose.  I've noticed a tee-tiny-slight-improvement since cutting back on the dose.  And, thankfully, still feeling good emotionally.  I talked to my doctor about coming off completely in November.  Reese will be a year then.  Since we're attributing some of this depression to post-partum hormones, hopefully one year post-partum will show significant improvement.  Also, we think my birth control pill (generic Yaz, gianvi) played a role, too. I just switched this month to a different pill (generic Loestrin Fe, gildess).  So sometime in October I will drop down to 25 mg sertraline dose and hopefully come off completely in November.  My doctor says I'll know pretty quickly if I can come off or not.  I guess we'll just have to see!

In the mean time, I'm going to carry on living life.  Not just existing like I was before.

**If you haven't seen the movie Willow (above), I'd highly recommend it.  Lots and lots of quotable quotes in that movie.