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For the far away family...

Grandparents and Adoption

If I had to name one person who was impacted as heavily as I was by placing my daughter, Chloe, for adoption, it would have to be my mother.  Now, I don't mean to understate how significantly my father or my siblings or others were impacted.  This decision of mine had a stone thrown into a still lake effect.  The little waves reached far and wide.

But my mother felt it as I did.  I watched her walk through the pregnancy, labor, delivery, and placement for adoption, as she watched me walk through the same.  We shared tears on many occasions.  I knew she was sad for me to lose out on the mothering experience with Chloe.  She was also sad with me because she was losing out on the grandmothering experience with Chloe.  And from what I hear, grandparenting is WAY better than parenting.

When I finally chose an adoptive family, some of my mother's pain was eased.  Chloe would be local.  Accessible.  With a family that went to our church.  With a family that was extremely open to continuing relationships with my family.  I was so glad for my mom.  She would still get to have a relationship with her granddaughter.  In fact, she gained a grandson as well, since Chloe's forever family had a son, too.

My mom has babysat on numerous occasions for Chloe and her brother, Shiloh.  They call her Meemaw, just like my nieces do, although the significance of that won't sink in until they're older, probably.  (side note, I have no idea how to spell "Meemaw"....memaw? mimaw? meeeeemaw??)

I love that Chloe has so many grandparents to love her.  I hope she grows up loving that too.

Momma Acuff with Chloe,  ~ 3 weeks old

Pa Acuff with Chloe, ~ 18 months old

**I'm linking up with Open Adoption Roundtable.

Let's Be Honest

As the last part of my getting-ready-for-bed-ritual, I always peek in on James in his crib.  I'm guessing this is a fairly normal routine for moms.  I'm just not sure that the reason I do it is the same reason as other moms.

1)  I just want to see that he's really asleep.

Fairly normal.

2)  I love this little guy more than words can describe.  Seeing him one more time before I go to sleep is simply a way to end my night on a great note.

Fairly normal.

3)  To make sure he's breathing.

Fairly normal.

4)  In the horrid event that in the morning he WASN'T breathing, or was STOLEN, I would want to be able to tell the police/medics/ambulancy-people what time I last saw him.  

Not so normal.

I don't know if other people think about this.  I've read way to many news stories about abducted kids.  In the article somewhere it always says the parents last saw the child at 8pm, or something like that, when the child went to bed.  In this situation, time is of the essence.  The smaller the window of time, the better.  This translates to me that I need to see him at the last possible moment (before I go to bed) and check on him again first thing in the morning when I wake up.  If I happen to make a night-time potty sleep break, I'll check on him then, too.  

Am I crazy?